The Loneliness of Being 30+ and Having No Close Friends

"Don't walk in front of me… I may not follow. Don't walk behind me… I may not lead. Walk beside me… just be my friend." — Albert Camus

It is the year 2026. We are living in the post-consumption, AI-era, dominated by machines, algorithms, and the early advent of future robots. Where does that leave us with inter-personal connections and heartfelt relationships that we can call as friends?

The age of 30, 35 or 37+ is one of the different ages for many individuals in India and across the world. Many millennials have been married, more than that have been left alone to work their single hood all by themselves. This period of the thirties is one of the loneliest in current times as we are seeing a friendship recession, a term coined by American political researcher Daniel Cox.

So, let me ask you all (reply in comments): Can friendships help cure loneliness? If yes, then why aren't we actively seeking new people? Why are we always being so polarised and judgemental of others? Why can't we be emotional, sensitive, caring, kind and build new friendships instead of cultivating hate?

I really dream of a world where every neighbour would go to each other's houses and celebrate their victories, or share their pains, talk endlessly and build a vibrant, mystical and dynamic cosmos here itself. I dream of a world where talking to strangers won't be seen as threat or danger. I dream of a world where we can build communities of homes and collective houses not the blocks of individual entities where everyone remains lonely and isolated.

And as you realise that within less than 300 words, I have addressed the crux of this problem. Why are we lonely beyond a certain age? This is the main challenge we need to address. In the following lines, I will further describe to you as to why we need an ecosystem of care and community.

I feel that by 2027, and with the advent of so many artificial intelligent tools along with personalised robots, loneliness will swell to extreme levels. What we need today is love — not just romantic love but platonic, friendly love amongst males too. The Men community is perhaps the most loneliest community out there in today's world. I have noticed that many men today feel that if you hang out with other men then you are likely to be termed gay or homosexual. And many such other MANOSPHERE themes have led to decline in male friendships. Men seem to think they can't cry or express themselves openly like women do. And that is a dangerous thought to address and even consider.

Having said that, I feel loneliness is also an issue that has been acknowledged in recent times by mental health experts, doctors, psychiatrists and life coaches. So, one would hope that there are also medical solutions to this epidemic and we can slowly come to a better understanding of the problem.

Having friends is not enough, the profoundness and the depth of friendships is what matters. Friendships have disappeared especially in our 30s and I hope that people come together to celebrate this beautiful journey of life. Loneliness can serve its purpose and awaken you to your creativity and inner wealth. But one always needs some craziness, madness, some fun, some satire, some dancing on the streets, some singing songs at 3 am together, some travels that make you forget your home and that's only possible with your stupid friend circle.

As we go ahead, I will be addressing more subtle and more deep parts of our fractured relationships in the modern society and you will realise that we need to break our egos and our chains to come together once again. Till then, I would say keep going to that park alone, keep smiling at strangers, talk to your neighbours, reach out to old colleagues or classmates, approach that cute girl or boy at the mall or gym or coffee shop. Let the conversations begin. Let the opportunities that cross our paths be used. And don't forget to call me and share your victories. I am your all time friend.